As we all know, relationships go through phases. There are the good times and there are the not so good times. It’s quite seasonal in nature. In fact we cant really judge someone just because one season is not as good as the others… In truth you wont see all seasons unless you stick around. In fact, it may even be worth it in the long term.
Using metaphor and analogy in dealing with relationships is great. Try not to define events…in fact try to accept and understand them, its much easier this way. Acceptance is a very beautiful thing. Another persons virtues are just important as yours and mine. During my years in high school and at university I helped a lot of friends, both female and male, they call me their love guru. All I did was listen, I never offered a solution until we both absolutely understood the problem.
I have heard and understood both male and female perspectives and guess what?… they are very very similar. I am no relationship expert, in fact, I really don’t think they exist, because every relationship and person is unique and different. I like to say that wisdom is the best strategy to adopt when dealing with relationship issues. Understanding psychology is just scratching the surface and in fact using it the wrong way is just a manipulative tool that doesn’t achieve love. I would suggest that while giving your woman time, be there for her when she is in good spirits and the bad. Be yourself and that is being the person she fell in love with.
So if you are now going through a season that might seem challenging and hard with your respective other don’t judge her, just accept her. Acceptance is a beautiful thing. What is beautiful can be so hard to describe sometimes. Even in life’s dark moments, there is beauty, and I have seen it.
There are many ways to overcome the conflicts we experience in relationships, there is no golden rule.. All those get-your-ex back articles and psychological techniques are quite manipulative.
Out of my own [and others] life experience[s], using those psychological tactics rarely are a loving way of having a peaceful relationship, they only will turn your love into a battlefield. However, the song made by Pat Benatar is great!
So what do you do if your girlfriend needs time?
**Be a realist and be cool.
The word “cool” is your friend. What do we mean by “cool”? Cool means by refraining from acting irrational and being needy. Lets not put your needs over hers, in fact, the hard times we go through in a relationship will define us- they make us stronger. So be happy, make her happy and show her you actually do care about her while maintaining your self respect. Now lets combine analogy and metaphor, using both wisdom while understanding basic psychology.
Firstly here’s some wisdom, analogy and metaphor; Love is like a tree, it needs sun, it needs “space”, it needs “time” to “grow”. Imagine this as a healthy tree and this healthy tree resembles your relationship. If you want the tree to grow you cant overshadow it and block it from the suns rays, by not giving it space and time and sunlight it will not grow. So try not to block her sunlight by always being around her and not letting her use her own inner resources to solve her own problems. Now for the psychology part. We all have a tendency to move “towards” things in life that we associate pleasure with, and we also have a tendency to move “away” from things in life that we associate pain to. This is true. Have you been pushing her away?
**Show empathy and compassion.
Empathy. Put yourself in her shoes, what is she feeling right now? Can you relate to what she is going through at work, home, friends and most importantly your relationship with her. If she is stressed, don’t stress her out more, instead make every encounter a soothing experience with her, you will not only be making her happy you will be able to show her why you are together and that you are so great, it actually is reinforcing her initial reason of why she loves you. Remember she loved[s] you for a reason. I am very sure you made her happy and excited when she first met you, it is so easy to do it again and better. Why? Because you share history and you are such a great person. Constantly provide value and don’t fear losing her and see what happens.
The word “love”. This word has so many meanings and it is often abused, misleads or scares people away. Well love is everywhere and it is not a definable feeling. Even if your girlfriend has not said I love you, it doesn’t mean she doesn’t. Love is expressed in so many ways. Express your love to her by being patient and accepting her just as she is even if she is being really cold right now. Guys, I quote: “Love is not seeing a perfect person, it is seeing an “imperfect” person perfectly.”
**Go out with your friends or plan a getaway with them.
I am very confident that you will feel refreshed sitting in a spa, having some drinks making a bbq and just relaxing. You will find that the person you were when you met your girlfriend was an outgoing and independent person, don’t lose that independence. If you are having a drink with the boys stay safe and don’t over do it, have fun!
**When she talks to you.
Listen to her. Stay quite. Look in her eyes and don’t interrupt her. Answer all of her questions and be honest.
If you maintain eye contact you will create a deeper understanding, in fact she will really feel listened to. Use empathetic communication. i.e “yeah by what your saying, you must really feel…” Don’t engage in solution based conversation until you both really understand the whole problem. Let her talk and talk and talk, even if you don’t like what she is saying. Sometimes I make this mistake too I just ramble on.
When its time to go your separate ways where ever you are, give her a hug if thats all she likes at the moment, don’t go in for a kiss. You will find over time she will kiss you on the cheek and then slowly she will open up. Say goodnight or what it is you generally say and thank her for coming out. The same goes for her telephone calls.
**Make her feel like she is a great girlfriend.
There is nothing worse than for a woman to think she has been a horrible witch to her boyfriend. Yes they do feel bad if they hurt you. I mean it. Whenever she apologises, forgive her, if you do wrong apologise also. This is a start to some healing. Tell her you think she is great even if she has really upset you the past few weeks.
**Make her laugh.
Its OK to act funny in a manly sense I tend to repeat something and change my tone making it funny. Women love this. Remember girls want to have fun, just like us guys.
**Do not make her jealous using other women.
Yes, jealously is a very strong motivational factor in bringing someone home but, jealously can erode her judgment and make her react for the wrong reason and it wont be out of love, I can assure you. I believe in two forms of jealousy, they are good jealousy and bad jealousy. Good jealousy is generally when we have a small feel of it but it immediately stops then and there and doesn’t toxify your relationship. You feel a certain emotion but it makes you acknowledge you have emotion there.
The good jealously happens while your in a relationship and it doesn’t undermine your self respect or theirs. Bad jealously will do the exact opposite, it continues and plagues your relationship causing suspicion, lack of trust and evidently insecurity. Don’t play around with jealousy, especially with your girlfriend to make her feel jealous, its more powerful than you think and it might bite you back.
**Do not give her an ultimatum.
The worst thing you can do is give her a time-limit on how long your going to stick around for or for her to make a decision. I warn you that you will be the loser. Ultimatums rarely work and this is coming from my experience as a lawyer and understanding of having a win-win situation. If you use an ultimatum, consider it a lose-lose situation.
Its perfectly OK for you to tell her that your getting hurt and frustrated and that the relationship is not what you really want. You could certainly tell her you wont be sticking around if she continues to be cold- You have a right to make your decisions and act on them (If you go down this track you would have obviously thought this over and you really want to end things). Don’t say this to manipulate her to bring her back, she might chase you but its not going to be out of love, it will be out of fear. Trust me acting out of love is much more better to achieve a peaceful relationship in the long run.
This is a must. I have not seen this anywhere in any online publications. This is not only important for you as a man, but it is important for her to see that you are her rock. If she is going to one day marry you and have your kids, she doesn’t want someone that cant control his emotions and acts like a little kid. Being strong not only makes her feel supported, you will exude confidence the right way.
**Keep balance, exercise, read and eat right.
Stay knowledgeable on world events, read a novel, exercise at the gym and eat right. You will look better, feel better and you will also be occupying your self staying busy. This is not only important for your own well being, it is attractive as you have a world outside theirs.
The reason your girlfriend needs time may not be about you solely, it is about her, respect that. Be open to what she says and let her figure things out her own way and give her as much time as she wants. If you wanted time and you were in her situation, would you want your girlfriend making demands from you. Treat others as you want to be treated and trust me, thats an easy yet bullet proof strategy for your relationship.
Most classic car owners cover relatively few miles in their cars both because they are owned as hobby cars but also because they are generally covered by limited mileage insurance policies. Mileage could be anywhere from a few hundred to about 3,000 miles per year. If a problem starts to manifest itself, the owner usually gets plenty of notice and has plenty of time to fix the problem. And unless they have a specific classic run or rally planned then there is no urgency.
Renting out a fleet of classic cars brings us a set of different problems. Firstly the mileage is much higher. Some of our cars will cover 10,000 miles per year and 6,000 to 8,000 is quite normal. This means that problems that may creep up on the average classic car owner fairly slowly appear a bit quicker on our fleet of classic cars. Add to that fact that by the nature of our business, we have cars hired out on definite dates, we have developed a culture aimed at avoiding problems rather than waiting for them to happen and then fixing them.
When we add a new car to our fleet we give it a thorough service including replacing all hoses, whether they need it or not, replacing the flexible brakes hoses with Aeroquip ones which do not degrade, and fitting electronic ignition to avoid the slow degradation that happens with good old contact breaker points.
We also drive our own hire cars regularly as our customers will not always report anything unusual as they tend not to know how the cars drive normally. In this way we can usually pick up symptoms as they start to develop and have them fixed before they become a problem to either us or the customers.
This is illustrated by a piece of work that we are currently having carried out on our 1970 Jaguar E-Type Roadster. As well as hiring this out, we use it quite a lot ourselves and drave it across Europe to the Czech Republic and back in September 2010. The MSA Euroclassic is not a normal road run and is set to take in the most scenic routes possible , including in this instance crossing the Alps via the famous Stelvio and St Gothard passes.
The Stelvio has been featured on the BBC Top gear program as one of the best drives in the world and having completed it twice we can verify this accolade. This year on a few of the 49 hairpin bends, when turning in tightly under load, there was a slight knock, knock coming from the right rear. We have a team of mobile mechanics with us on the Euroclassic so I asked them to have a look and they said it was a small amount of play in one of the four universal joints on the rear drive shafts. They pumped in a load of fresh grease, to the offending UJ and the other three for good measure, and the problem disappeared.
The E-Type has now gone in for it is annual pre hire-season service and I asked our garage to check it out. They confirmed the mobile mechanic's diagnosis that there is a small amount of play in just one of the four UJs. If this was a normal classic car their prognosis is that the UJ would be fine for anywhere from five to ten thousand miles which for most classic car owners could be anywhere from 3 to 10 years motoring.
However for the Open Road this could have been done in a single year. There are not any tight, stelvio type, hairpin bends for many miles and it is unquestionably that a customer would hear so much as a slight clunk during the coming year. However I do not want a customer to be either worried if they were to hear such a noise or, still still, to be inconvenienced if it were to fail.
I gave the garage instructions to replace the offending UJ. Based on the assumption that the other three UJs in the drive shafts are of the same age, and have been subject to the same driving stresses it is reasonable to assume that they might be starting to deteriorate. I therefore instructed them to replace the other three UJs at the same time to remove any risk of premature failure.
About once a year, a customer will say that charging over £ 300 for a day's hire for an E-Type feels a bit expensive. This is one of the reasons why. I would rather spend money in advance on preventive maintenance that a normal classic car owner would not think was strictly necessary.
At the end of the service our E-Type will be setup and ready for what I am expecting to be a very busy year. The E-type was launched in 1961 so this year celebrates its 50th birthday. It has already been featured in a number of the classic car magazines and I expect it to receive huge amounts of coverage through the coming year which should generate loads of requests to hire this icon of the British automotive art.
Hong Kong is known to be one of the most hospitable tourist spots today. The hotels in Hong Kong, which are famous for their world-class facilities, are one of the prime contributors to the growth of Hong Kong as a tourist destination. There are many kinds of hotels in Hong Kong that cater to all kinds of people, budgets, and needs. From the business traveler to the casual tourist, these hotels offer all kinds of amenities that would fit into any budget.
Hong Kong is the ultimate tourist destination for the gourmet traveler. There are several hotels in Hong Kong whose facilities are synonymous with luxury. These include the Peninsula hotels, the Excelsior, the Mandarin Oriental hotel, the Conrad luxury hotels and resorts, the Ritz-Carlton, JW Marriott hotel Hong Kong, Marco Polo Hong Kong hotel, Regal Hong Kong hotel, Renaissance Harbor view hotel, Empire Hotel Kowloon, Hotel Inter-continental, the Grand-Stanford Inter-continental hotel and several others.
The luxury segment hotels are the last name in stylishness and lavishness. All the rooms, suits, restaurants, and every nook and corner of the hotels spell wealth. Their fleet of limousines, helicopter shuttle services, elegant bars and restaurants, personalized sightseeing services, personalized shopping facilities, and enviable cooks who dish up the most scrumptious dishes, are a treat to the senses.
Most luxury Hong Kong hotels feature additional amenities such as fitness centers, swimming pools, heated pools, poolside leisure activities, sun terraces with incredible views, a diverse array of dining options, elegant bars with the finest wines, gourmet cuisine, temperature-controlled spas with A-class massage treatments, saunas, and facilities for Yoga, Tai Chi, oriental healing, relaxation, and other ancient exercise techniques, as well as treatments for “jet lag relief”, slimming, anti-cellulite treatments and even non-surgical facelifts.
Impressive meeting rooms and ballrooms make every party and conference a memorable occasion. 24-hour concierge services, 24-hour front desk, and valet parking are some of the regular wonders. The rooms themselves have their own spectacular views of the city. High-speed broadband Internet access, 24-hour room service, and mini bars are some of the amenities. Room decoration and ambience is a treat to the eyes, with a blend of classic and modern. Deluxe suites even have their own living rooms, two bedrooms with attached bathrooms, a dining room, private balcony and even a kitchen.
Luxury Hong Kong hotels can be expensive with prices starting from HK$1,000 for a standard room. Suites are priced at around HK$7,500 (around $1000) per day. Deluxe suites can cost around HK$12,500.00 ($1603.00). There are however, some luxury hotels where prices start at around HK$ 500-H$700 (less than US$100). Reservations for most luxury Hong Kong hotels have to be made in advance, especially in the peak season. There are many online agents who have exclusive websites that enable online reservation to most of these hotels. Some hotels also give instant confirmation, based on the availability.